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Cake day: September 30th, 2023

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  • A great many people, including even some of the most well-intentioned friends and family, and including many people who are in most ways intelligent, educated, and caring – will still find it impossible to prevent themselves from changing their image of you. And their expectations and guesses about you will follow to some degree. You may find people forming unspoken predictions that you will not listen well, that you will interrupt, or that you will only talk about your own stuff at any length.

    And it won’t be everybody, thankfully; just many. There will also be some people you may grow closer to because they already understand and now they’ll find it easier to interact with you directly about ADHD-related things.


  • In some cities, there are other places where you can accomplish some of the socializing that happens in bars, without being in a bar or around alcohol at all. In older towns and cities you can often find breakfast places and cafés that don’t mind if you stay a while longer than it takes to eat a meal or drink coffee, and where customers at bar-style seating or outdoor tables often are interested in striking up a conversation with strangers.

    It makes so much difference if you gravitate toward old cities and towns, and away from suburbs, especially modern suburbs (and their accompanying shopping and entertainment districts) built in the 80s or later. The latter tend to be completely, totally oriented toward the isolated and car-dependent lifestyle. Older, much longer established communities are more messy and sometimes even dysfunctional, yet they usually have some places where people actually meet and interact.