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In Italy, where the bidet is its own “seat”, we use small towels, one for each person. The ones that usually people vacationing in Italy think are for the face, they are actually for your ass. Hard to tell the difference on American tourists sometimes.
Only positive thing that could theoretically come out of this, for me as a European, is that some US representatives will finally stop going around saying that you are the greatest democracy on this planet. Problem is, the US nationals who usually utter such BS are not the ones able to realize how anti-democratic this is. As a US citizen with a working brain, I would be in DC now.
This is the worst you got to, up to now, going full circle from colony of a monarchy to monarchy.
It is time to distance ourselves until you get your shit together.