Can’t answer question directly. Just, when I was your age, there was so much I needed to learn. Every person takes time to figure things out, overcome shortcomings, work thru stuff.

At 21, lot to figure out, discover, learn. For me, cuz childhood abuse, trauma, autism, I was a mess. No idea how to have healthy relationships, positive communication, etc.

So, could be your dude is just young, figuring stuff out. Or could be something else. Only way to know is to ask, talk about it. No assumptions, no judgment. Communication is key.

Might be useful to research how to communicate effectively. How to talk about stuff in not about criticize, instead seeing other person’s viewpoint, meeting half way. Problem is, other person may not want to or be able to.

You’re doing good, asking questions. Keep doing that, and good luck.

I don’t do well in traditional semester college cuz adhd.

So, never went to college. Started in fast food, last job was 75k/ year tech job.

I took a lot of short term accredited programs. ROP certifications. LearnIT. Studied on my own to test MVP certifications for excel, PowerPoint, word. You can study on your own to take A+ certification exam. I took community college non credit classes about various applied arts.

So, I’d show up at job interviews with no traditional college degree, but a ton of certifications, short term classes, etc. They were fascinated by my diverse tech skills, it showed I had ambition. So I got a lot of jobs easily this way.

Also, try being a career temp for a while. If you prove you’ll show up for the gigs professionally, they’ll send you to more assignments . I did this for a decade, got phenomenal skillset, different industries , lot of diverse experience.

Goodwill stores, at least where i live, are good for people in shaky situations. More accepting of people with special needs, circumstances. Mention cuz, not the type of work you’re looking for… for me, been out of work so long (8 years), me getting a p/t job at goodwill, committing, proving i can keep it, it’s the only way better paying jobs will take me seriously.

Would like the 75k per year tech job I had b4 becoming homeless. But have to be realistic, start small.

Borderline schizoaffective, psychotic features. Constantly questioning sanity. Reality often surreal. Dbt, cbt has helped the most. If I practice mindfulness, grounding exercises daily… when mind spirals, reality starts to explode, easier to come back, keeps me tethered.

Tho, once as kid, when I became convinced I might be a disembodied brain floating in a jar, started to seriously freak out. Came home in terrorized panic, flipping madly thru my bookshelf, and reading “summa theologica” finally made the panic stop.

Sometimes, when I’ve researched something and compiled a ton of useful information about a topic… wish there was a lemmy for that. Kind of the opposite of asklemmy.

I stare at the wall reciting pi over and over, while my body withers, mind untethered, consumed by a mathematical void.

Baba Brinkman does rap music about science, evolution.

Dunno why, but your comment reminded of this:

https://youtu.be/2oRlBmwKzy4?si=NIg2ELZBkRCm_HzO

“Now that’s what I call music” I’m embarrassed to say, I use those volumes a lot to keep in touch with younger generations, new music. Also, among the more popular torrents generally, so download fast.

I used to identify as Libertarianian. Resented taxes, overreaching, infiltrating my life, all about independence, don’t want to be interfered with.

Then I became homeless. Realized how the social services, ssi, Medicare are important. Sure there are lazy people, but also those who genuinely need help, who want to get back on their feet. Care a lot more now about wanting to live in a society that actually cares about the people in it.

I’ve learned it’s a necessity. If the art itself is good, well done, promotes positive thinking, etc, it’s easy to look past the personal failings of the creator. Like joss whedon. Or the Harry Potter author. Nobody’s perfect, and if I get super puritan about stuff, I miss out on a lot of good content.

If the art itself is shitty, offensive, hateful, harmful… nope, I’m not gonna look past that.

Roman Polanski is tricky. Dude was a horrible human. I don’t want to like his movies, but The Tenant is just so darned good.

Out of sight, out of mind. If I need to clean frequently, I have to keep cleaning supplies out, easy to access. Enter a room, see cleaning supplies, oh, I should clean. Without the visual reminder, won’t remember.

Keep at least 2 to 3 notebooks on hand. Always writing stuff down. I’ll research, be thinking about something, but brain starts to lose focus. Write it down. Will completely forget after that. But when thought enters brain later, oh wait, I made notes…

Notepad app on phone. Anything important, will forget, so need to record.

Dbt, cbt has helped. Brain tends to be scattered, all over the place, so daily mindfulness, grounding exercises to connect to moment.

Only able to process data rapidly, large scale, all data at once. So, books with large pages, lots of data broken down, grouped for rapid assimilation.

Routines are essential. Phone always in left pocket, keys in right pocket, etc. If I put keys somewhere else, I’ll freak, panic. So routine, if I start to panic, look in usual spot, wait, they’re where they’re supposed to be.

If out in public, at a counter, take wallet out, lay on counter… stare at wallet entire time, not breaking eye contact, or else I’ll forget it’s there.

Wallet attached via chain. Small compact umbrella so I can keep in pocket, otherwise will lose it. Carbiner attached to things so it’s easier to hold, not lose.

Willem de kooning. Early 20s, figure drawing instructor said my live sketches reminded him of de kooning. I’d never heard of him. Few years later, in San Francisco moma, stood in front of one of his Woman paintings, entranced. Thus my love of abstract expressionism began.

I spent the last 8 years living in homeless shelters. I’d say at least 95% of my fellow residents were fleeing domestic violence, drug addicts, people out of jail, elderly, pedophiles, sex offenders, wide variety of mental health issues, some physical disabilities.

Mental health was the majority, so much so that shelters work in concert with mental health programs. Some short term crisis stabilization places for homeless people leaving psych hospitals.

Remember one guy in above category refusing to stay in a shelter, said it was more crowded, less freedom. Some people so beaten by bad experiences, trauma, unable to hold jobs their entire life, who’d give up, living on the streets was only stability they could muster.

It is freeing, in a way. But not as romantic, idealized as some might think.

Don’t have internet where I live. But your suggestion sounds way helpful.

Been on Ritalin for a decade. Helps a lot. Used to be WAY disorganized.

There’s a sleep disorder, diurnal, common for people with adhd. Their brains don’t wake up, start functioning til 6pm, wide awake all night.

I’m so careful, courteous at night, super quiet, walking softly… then 6am, morning people wake, stomping, slamming, music blasting. So not fair.

Yes. Had religion shoved down my throat as a kid. Learned early on being a religious believer meant nothing, people are shitty no matter what.

Had to decide who I wanted to be, what rules to live by. Realized I don’t enjoy hurting people, try to learn from mistakes, random acts of kindness, to always try for the evolved, educated non violent option. That’s enough for me. If there’s a god who has a problem with that, oh well.

I’ve wanted to create a game that’s a simulation of mental health issues. For instance, youre playing someone who has autism. You turn to walk down a street. Turn to look, touch, car crash horns, screaming. Touch a wall, textures explode, patterns etching into your outstretched arm. Or, one about ptsd. Another about auditory processing disorder.

My IRL reality can be so hypervivid, intense, super saturated, surreal. Often wish someone else could experience it, know what it’s like.

The Wrinkle in Time movie, think Oprah was in it. Haven’t seen it, heard it’s horrendous.